BIBI ADMITS, RIGHTS IN ISRAEL ALL A SCAM
A MIKE REPORT PARODY
In a surprise statement sure to bolster the claims of human rights advocates, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu acknowledged that Israel’s much publicized status as a gay rights haven has been for the most part a scam. “We thought that our support of gay rights and women’s rights would distract the world from our persecution of the Palestinians” said the Prime Minister. Netanyahu went on to disclose the details of what was an elaborate plan going back to the establishment of the Jewish State in 1948. “We started with equal rights for all Arab citizens of Israel, all women and by the 1970’s all of our gay citizens.” The Israeli leader went on to explain “We really wanted to persecute the Palestinians with impunity, but to do so we had to cover our tracks by treating every human being with respect and decency”.
According to Netanyahu, It was David Ben Gurion, Israel’s first Prime Minister, who first coined the term Pinkwashing. “He was a Genius” said Mr. Netanyahu, “Ben Gurion knew gay rights would one day become a cause celebre and he instructed future Jewish leaders how to exploit the issue in a secret protocol”.
Groups like Jewish Voice for Peace and the International Solidarity Movement have been working for years to expose the secret Pinkwashing plan. “We are thrilled that the evil Zionist regime has finally admitted their putrid schemes” said Beremy Jen-Ami, head of the Schizophrenic pro-Israel/anti-Israel advocacy group, Jew Street.
Netanyhahu announced that the Israeli government would no longer use human rights as a weapon against the Palestinians. “There is no point in keeping up the charade” said the Israeli leader. “It gives me great pleasure in announcing that effective immediately all human rights are rescinded” said the Prime Minister with an audible sigh of relief. He closed his official statement by lamenting that “We would’ve gotten away with it too, if not for those meddling kids!”
A MIKE REPORT PARODY